I really, really dislike vegetables. Specifically dark, leafy greens. From a young age, I absolutely loathed dark leafy greens to the the point where my mother would keep me at the dinner table for hours unless I finished eating them. What I would then do was a) pretend to eat them and instead store them in  my mouth and b) conveniently have to go to the bathroom right after and c) spit out the greens into the trashcan in the bathroom.

My mother later discovered my scheme and I was henceforth banned from using the bathroom during dinner.

Many years have passed since then, but my attitude towards greens hasn’t improved much. I have come to begrudgingly accept the fact that green vegetables are a vital part of a nutritive diet.

I still hate the way they taste though, which is why lately I have been perfecting a green smoothie that masks the taste of the vegetables. For all my fellow veggie-haters out there, this recipe is for you!


  • 3 dino kale leaves
  • 1 cup of baby spinach (a large handful of spinach)
  • 1 ripe banana
  • 1 apple
  • 3 ripe strawberries
  • 1/3 cup of mango or pineapple chunks (optional)
  • 1 teaspoon of matcha green tea powder
  • 1/2 cup of unsweetened milk of your choice (dairy, almond, soy, etc)
  • lemon juice to taste


  1. Remove the center ribs from the kale leaves, and then roughly chop. Set aside.
  2. De-core the apple, then dice into big chunks. Roughly chop strawberries and banana.
  3. I use frozen mangos (it’s cheaper to buy frozen) but feel free to add a little bit of other fruit. Pineapple works well too.
  4. Depending on the size of your blender, place all the non-liquid ingredients (except for lemon juice) in your blender. My blender is on the smaller side, so I blend about half of the ingredients first, then add the other half.
  5. Pour in your milk into the blender. I sometimes use unsweetened kefir, which is a yogurt-like drink. It gives the smoothie a nice tanginess.
  6. Press blend and puree to your desired consistency! My blender is on the older side, so this takes a minute or so to get a nice smoothie.
  7. Check the taste, and if you desire some more tanginess, add a couple drops of lemon juice.

I like this recipe because despite having zero added sugars, the smoothie is sweet and appetizing! The matcha helps give me a mild caffeine kick, and this smoothie is basically a complete breakfast. Most of the time I drink it for breakfast by itself– it’s actually a lot of food! On this particular day, I added some chopped strawberries on top of the smoothie and drank it alongside some papaya.

Some days I make the smoothie vegan by using unsweetened soymilk in the place of kefir as the base liquid. What I like about this recipe is that it is very substitution friendly. Have no apples but pears? Use pears in the place of apple! Have no banana? Increase the amount of mangos to make up for the lost creaminess that the banana provides. Basically just add your favorite things ^_^ to make the recipe suit your taste.


One thought on “hating vegetables and drinking them

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